A Damn Useful Take on Emotions
I remember a couple of years ago, when my partner and I had an argument. He said very clearly, kindly and firmly that my anger and rage was welcome - but a “blow up” was not.
I was shocked - and I began to realize that, up to that point, I’d unknowingly kept a certain threshold of anger. It was swirling and gurgling, and waiting for the right conditions to bubble up.
I’d stayed stagnant in some inner anger up to this point because, well I’d just never fully dealt with it, and that’s on me. But to be fair, until then my anger was not welcome in relationships. I didn’t really get that “bad” emotions like anger could be okay, let alone expressed - so I told myself I didn’t really have them - and you can guess how that was working out.
There is no bad emotion. It’s e-motion, it’s supposed to be in motion. The trouble is when it gets stuck.
These days so many people don’t feel. They just don’t feel. Our society acts like it’s a good thing to not have emotions. For a plethora of reasons, people are so distanced from feelings that they assume they’re not there. And then, once in a while, something happens and BAM - there’s an extreme emotion…but all the subtle in-between feelings were bypassed.
When my partner had said that all faces of my anger were welcome, I was so incredibly touched. I felt my defenses drop, the emotion changed, moved and I no longer needed to express myself dramatically, or alternatively, watch my rage get packed into the corner.
Suddenly, I could accept the feeling of anger and not get all crazy about it.
A fire like that must run it’s course.
Since ancient times, the yogis have acknowledged the usefulness of emotional awareness for true and deep healing, awakening and integration and for being fully here, fully alive.
Affirming feelings out of your reality or acknowledging them but not giving them the time of day - this is not enough. But to wholeheartedly pay attention to yourself with genuine curiosity….mmmhmm. Whether it’s a small whisper of a feeling, or a massive hurricane, it’s okay that you have that feeling!
Just don’t get stuck there.
Sometimes we’re stuck - and that’s so very human. I’ve found that the best way to keep emotions cycling is by feeling them.
You have to encourage yourself to feel them - because society wont.
I believe it’s each of our divine assignment to become intimate with all that we are.
In psychology, we speak of the shadow - a container for what we’ve disowned in ourselves or kept in the dark. It’s a storehouse. To leave our shadow untapped is to leave part of ourselves behind - which will have an effect sooner or later.
Emotions are supposed to be a cycle, they're supposed to keep moving.
Emotions are a divine birthright and part of being human. I invite you to connect with yours in new and deeply present ways.
In a freebie connected to this blog post, I have included a short exercise that you can download and try right away. It’s a system that I personally use and it can go as deep as you want it to - very quickly.
By shining the light on the shadow, you set your emotions into the motion that they’re meant to be in.
Enjoy the freedom.
The freebie for this blog post gives you a system for resolving some of these stuck emotions that cause stress.
Your Blueprint for Emotional Intelligence.
A Step-by-step guide to transforming emotions for real.